Yes I am an Event Planner~author unknown(Note: this is a tongue-in-check essay about the "not so glamorous" side of being an event planner, and is written as if directed to a client. While it is meant to be humorous, it also gives you a little warning - ahem, insight - to the reality of being a planner. Read at your own risk...and if you still want a career in event planning, continue on to the next pages!) Yes, I am an Event Planner. It is in my job description to cater to my client’s every whim, regardless of the realistic feasibility of the request. Because, as I kindly empathize, this is a “very important meeting” for you and your company, and therefore the world shall cease existence as we know it, while we try our best to do everything possible to make this the Single Best Meeting in the History of Meeting Planning. I always keep at least ten guestrooms under my desk, as it is policy to understand that you never know how many people are attending your own meeting. It is also policy to automatically know when all of your VIPs are arriving, although they constantly change their own flights and never bother to inform us. Pardon me, for my mind reading skills are a bit rusty, but I promise to work on this ASAP. I can make any of the hotel’s meeting rooms larger or smaller, depending on your needs. I will naturally remove the supporting pillars from your meeting space and will install windows in every room as needed. The “Ocean View” is not scheduled to arrive until the second day of your program, for which I most sincerely apologize – however, we will move the hotel two feet to the left to accommodate your request by the end of your session today. I agree that it’s inconceivable that we should have any other groups booked in the hotel, but your 22 breakout rooms that you added this morning should be built no later than Wednesday. Naturally it will be no problem to turn your General Session for 600 people, set classroom style, to a hollow square for 150 with rear screen projection, simultaneous Japanese translation, and satellite hookup, all during your 15-minute coffee break. Unfortunately, however, due to space constraints and the fact that your final program bears no resemblance whatsoever to your contracted space, we will have to suspend your lunch buffet from the ceiling above your General Session and then suck the gravity out of the ballroom. This will, of course, be completed in ten minutes, per your request, and of course at no charge since it was our gravest mistake to not foresee this issue. We have located the boxes that you sent last month under your mother’s maiden name and addressed to the hotel down the street, and again, apologize for not finding them sooner. In answer to your question, it is, of course, understood that I am telepathically aware of all your speakers’ requirements and will set up an overhead, LCD projector, dual slide projector, two screens, laser pointer, podium mic, two table top mics, a head table, and provide blue M&M’s in each room at no extra charge, just in case. Additionally, it goes without saying that an AV tech, engineer, babysitter and myself will be underneath the head table for the duration of your event in case you need anything at all. I understand that, although this is a hotel with a fifteen-year multi-million dollar standing contract with Pepsi, it is nonetheless a fact that your top VIP happens to be a Coke guy, and therefore we will ensure that the entire hotel carries nothing but Coke products during your five-day stay. I’m sure the Pepsi convention that is meeting here at the same time will understand since, after all, it was our mistake to book another group in the same hotel as yours during the same dates anyway. There are two more things you might want to share with your group.
Please ignore the unsightly bags under my eyes and my blurry vision. It is completely normal to work for 18 hours a day, seven days straight, with no food, sleep, or personal time. It is, after all, my pleasure, and you of course are my ONLY client that ever expects this of me. Until next week, that is. Subscribe to EVENTful Ventures for Much More! Subscribe to my online newsletter, EVENTful Ventures, and receive weekly tips and hints on how to start your event planning career. I’ll even throw in an occasional story from the life of an event planner! As a bonus to your free subscription, I will send you my report, “25 Job Sites for Event Planning.” This is a simple grid that includes links to some of the top websites that feature openings for jobs in the event and meeting planning industry! And, of course, it is absolutely free. It is absolutely free to subscribe, and I will never sell your information to anyone else. And, you can unsubscribe at any time. So, don’t delay – fill in the information below and start your dream career today!
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